[creative writing again]
The girls were putting out their Christmas stocking and so were the boys. Me I didn't care about Christmas. All I wanted to do was party party. In those times I was into a wild and weird scene or so it seemed at the time. Lots of es, lots of dancing, weird sex - some of it very weird. It all kinda of got a bit addictive. I wasn't that fussed whether it was men or women as long as they were young and pretty. I almost never remembered their names that well but some of their faces stay with me till this day. But I was off my head so much of the time and so I am not sure how much was real and how much was the movie inside my head. This was all before my first crackup...
[As told to Amanda]
Monday, 16 November 2009
The eggman or something
[creative writing piece]
- I am the eggman, I am the walrus, Goo goo ja goob.
- Shut the fuck up.
Thankfully there was silence.
- I thought the walrus was Paul.
- Oh shut up.
This next silence was bitter.
- Oh thanks a bundle.
- I am not creating this to keep you pleased.
- Well I wish somebody was.
- What?
- Trying to keep me pleased.
- Oh.
A puzzled silence.
-Silences of the world unite you have nothing to lose but your identities.
- Silence is golden.
- Shut the fuck up.
I did.
- I am the eggman, I am the walrus, Goo goo ja goob.
- Shut the fuck up.
Thankfully there was silence.
- I thought the walrus was Paul.
- Oh shut up.
This next silence was bitter.
- Oh thanks a bundle.
- I am not creating this to keep you pleased.
- Well I wish somebody was.
- What?
- Trying to keep me pleased.
- Oh.
A puzzled silence.
-Silences of the world unite you have nothing to lose but your identities.
- Silence is golden.
- Shut the fuck up.
I did.
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Wear the sword
William Penn was a man about town in 17th Century London so accordingly he carried a sword for self defence. As a Quaker committed to peace this trouble him so he sought George Fox's advice. George's reply is a classic Quaker quote, "Wear the sword as long as thou canst"
Well I feel the same way about driving a car and flying by plane. I need to stop.
This week in the Guardian there have been whistle blowers who tell us that the estimates of oil reserves have been lied about so that the market does not panic. So it seems highly possible that we might run out of oil before we are ready to live without it. If so it will get rough and I imagine food rationing and digging up our back gardens and common land will have to happen as in World War 2. Thankfully my wife is a farmer's daughter. We already have raspberries, apples and a few pears and lots of compost.
I remain profoundly pessimistic about Copenhagen and whether our politicians have the will and the humanity to take the necessary steps even if we do have the time and whether public opinion is ready. Our lives need to change more profoundly than most of us yet accept.
So maybe the death of our cars will jolt us into a new life that is gentler on the planet. But it is gonna hurt. We need to find better ways of leading rich lives based on the quality of human interactions.
Best,
Bill-on-bike thankfully not raining this morning
Well I feel the same way about driving a car and flying by plane. I need to stop.
This week in the Guardian there have been whistle blowers who tell us that the estimates of oil reserves have been lied about so that the market does not panic. So it seems highly possible that we might run out of oil before we are ready to live without it. If so it will get rough and I imagine food rationing and digging up our back gardens and common land will have to happen as in World War 2. Thankfully my wife is a farmer's daughter. We already have raspberries, apples and a few pears and lots of compost.
I remain profoundly pessimistic about Copenhagen and whether our politicians have the will and the humanity to take the necessary steps even if we do have the time and whether public opinion is ready. Our lives need to change more profoundly than most of us yet accept.
So maybe the death of our cars will jolt us into a new life that is gentler on the planet. But it is gonna hurt. We need to find better ways of leading rich lives based on the quality of human interactions.
Best,
Bill-on-bike thankfully not raining this morning
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Confession
Confession! Last night I took Anglican communion for the first time in ages and last month I even took Catholic Mass (in both cases the ministers were friends of mine) so I will probably get 'disowned' by my fellow Quakers :) and who knows what action might be taken against the priests involved!
It was a great liturgy from New Zealand very inclusive and we sang a hymn written by a Quaker - nice touch. There were only 6 of us so I found myself really singing with gusto pleasure and mostly in tune. My singing lessons with Rebbecca are clearly paying off.
Mostly when Rebbecca first hits a note for me to copy at the start of the lesson my first attempts are wide of the mark. Usually I need to slow down and wait and feel the note and then respond. Then it is usually right. At my primary school I was not even offered one real chance of singing in tune, never offered any teaching just told to mime. What kind of 'teaching' was that?
In my own teaching I have so much patience for my students as they struggle to sound their own academic notes. I love doing it and feel no desire to put them down or humiliate them. I have gained so much over the years from this work of mine. I always try to find the place in me where I can give of my best. So if I find myself being bored in part of my work I try and get out of it. So that mostly my creative energies can flow. When I enjoy my work so do my students and their work gets better.
My music teacher in primary school never got the pleasure of hearing me sing. The Head of my primary school said to my parents, "Never be surprised by anything he does". Well I have surprised myself.
Best to all,
Bill-on-bike.
It was a great liturgy from New Zealand very inclusive and we sang a hymn written by a Quaker - nice touch. There were only 6 of us so I found myself really singing with gusto pleasure and mostly in tune. My singing lessons with Rebbecca are clearly paying off.
Mostly when Rebbecca first hits a note for me to copy at the start of the lesson my first attempts are wide of the mark. Usually I need to slow down and wait and feel the note and then respond. Then it is usually right. At my primary school I was not even offered one real chance of singing in tune, never offered any teaching just told to mime. What kind of 'teaching' was that?
In my own teaching I have so much patience for my students as they struggle to sound their own academic notes. I love doing it and feel no desire to put them down or humiliate them. I have gained so much over the years from this work of mine. I always try to find the place in me where I can give of my best. So if I find myself being bored in part of my work I try and get out of it. So that mostly my creative energies can flow. When I enjoy my work so do my students and their work gets better.
My music teacher in primary school never got the pleasure of hearing me sing. The Head of my primary school said to my parents, "Never be surprised by anything he does". Well I have surprised myself.
Best to all,
Bill-on-bike.
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Thinking on... my birthday
Regular readers of this blog will know of my tortured history in relation to music and the healing that has come through being in a choir with Grace, taking up piano lessons with Rebbecca and more recently doing voice work with Rebbecca.
Some of you will also know that my 60th birthday happens next January 3rd and I am planning a small but happy birthday do on Saturday 2nd - invites will be reaching many of you in due course. If you can't be there raise a glass on the day.
Part of the birthday do will involve people being invited to do a turn or two - a song a poem a story. So inevitably I have been thinking about my turn. It occurred to me that I might just try and sing a favourite Pets song (Guess which one!) maybe alone and unaccompanied. Well I tried it out with Rebecca's help and she reckons rightly that it is too difficult for me right now. This is hard to accept but I am so pleased that she can say this to me that I can take it on the chin and it also puts her praise of me on other occasions in a clear light i.e. I can believe the praise more readily when I hear such critical feedback. So I might look out an easier song but meanwhile following her suggestion I am trying out the Pets song as a poem and it works remarkably well!
Meanwhile I have just joined the 10:10 campaign that's about reducing emissions by 10% by the end of 2010 - all I now have to do is figure out how!
Best to all,
Bill on bike
Some of you will also know that my 60th birthday happens next January 3rd and I am planning a small but happy birthday do on Saturday 2nd - invites will be reaching many of you in due course. If you can't be there raise a glass on the day.
Part of the birthday do will involve people being invited to do a turn or two - a song a poem a story. So inevitably I have been thinking about my turn. It occurred to me that I might just try and sing a favourite Pets song (Guess which one!) maybe alone and unaccompanied. Well I tried it out with Rebecca's help and she reckons rightly that it is too difficult for me right now. This is hard to accept but I am so pleased that she can say this to me that I can take it on the chin and it also puts her praise of me on other occasions in a clear light i.e. I can believe the praise more readily when I hear such critical feedback. So I might look out an easier song but meanwhile following her suggestion I am trying out the Pets song as a poem and it works remarkably well!
Meanwhile I have just joined the 10:10 campaign that's about reducing emissions by 10% by the end of 2010 - all I now have to do is figure out how!
Best to all,
Bill on bike
Saturday, 17 October 2009
Manky poet
Yes last night I performed 2 of my poems live to a real audience of about 20 people at the monthly Manky poets gathering at my local library. Each poet and poem is well received and applauded so it is hard to tell how it is received but apart from feeling a bit too nervous and a bit tight I was pleased with my performance and reception and I will go again. Below are the 2 poems I read - previous blogged here and both have appeared in copies of 'Thresholds' magazine the journal of APSCC the spiritual bit of BACP.
Now I must lie down!
Spiritual Suffering
When the President
Of my university
Responded to my query
About increased staff ill health following merger
He replied
He had no evidence for this.
But I
Just looked into your eyes
Even the psychiatrist
Saw a ‘soul in torment’
And then prescribed
Electro Convulsive Therapy
So I guess ECT
Is now an evidence based treatment
For spiritual suffering
Meeting a cow in Bangalore
You weren't troubled by the traffic
But I was
They see you as sacred
But cars are not respectful of my being
You walked on unhurried
I ran for my life
You remind me of my divinity
My inner light
My need to uphold the best in me
And not the beast in me.
Now I must lie down!
Spiritual Suffering
When the President
Of my university
Responded to my query
About increased staff ill health following merger
He replied
He had no evidence for this.
But I
Just looked into your eyes
Even the psychiatrist
Saw a ‘soul in torment’
And then prescribed
Electro Convulsive Therapy
So I guess ECT
Is now an evidence based treatment
For spiritual suffering
Meeting a cow in Bangalore
You weren't troubled by the traffic
But I was
They see you as sacred
But cars are not respectful of my being
You walked on unhurried
I ran for my life
You remind me of my divinity
My inner light
My need to uphold the best in me
And not the beast in me.
Thursday, 15 October 2009
More music
I made a curious discovery in the singing part of my piano lesson with Rebbecca last night. When I try and sign the note she has just played on the piano I usually get it wrong. If I sit and listen to the note in my body and then respond I am more often than not right or very close to it. The rush to get it right gets in wrong. When I am slower and more relaxed and focused on listening and feeling it I can usually sing in a way that resonates with what I have heard. I find this staggering.
When I hit the wrong note on the piano I usually know that I have and I know which hand has made the mistake. Rebbecca says that this is not so for all her pupils and she complements my 'developing musicianship'. Ah!!
My 'aged to perfection' birthday do is taking shape. I find myself wondering whether to attempt a Rufus or a Pets song possibly unaccompanied which is probably a bit too risky even given the audience. In a practice rehearsal I find that Pets come out better than Rufus even though my voice is probably closer in range to Rufus compared with Neil.
Watch this space!
When I hit the wrong note on the piano I usually know that I have and I know which hand has made the mistake. Rebbecca says that this is not so for all her pupils and she complements my 'developing musicianship'. Ah!!
My 'aged to perfection' birthday do is taking shape. I find myself wondering whether to attempt a Rufus or a Pets song possibly unaccompanied which is probably a bit too risky even given the audience. In a practice rehearsal I find that Pets come out better than Rufus even though my voice is probably closer in range to Rufus compared with Neil.
Watch this space!
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